Alone in a couple!

Lonely with him right beside me. This life is hard enough to get through, without his mood swings. I am so close to throwing in the towel. I can’t be the only one fighting for this relationship.

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FRIGID WEATHER IS HERE. WHAT DO THE HOMELESS PEOPLE DO???

If you are human, this thought has to pass through your mind. There REALLY isn’t anything that they (we) can do, except to bundle up in everything you own, and do your damndest to stay warm. Of course in this frigid it is impossible. You can get under all your clothes and blankets, but you can’t stay there all day. You have to go try to hustle up some money for foods, drinks and whatever else you need. Here you are wearing all of your clothes, and coats, sweaters etc… moving like a mummy because of too many clothes and you gotta try to walk around. You do whatever you can to beg up enough to get what you need. GOOD LUCK.

Now it’s time to go back to the tent, not ideal, or even comfortable. So you get back there fix up the bed build a small fire, try to put some rocks in it, to heat them up to put under your bed for extra warmth. Boil some water and put that in too. For added heat, light your candles and try like hell to stay warm.

People talk shit about the homeless. They are just lazy, they are drunks or druggies, which btw isn’t the case, in most cases. Some people aren’t when they first become homeless and start using because they are.

DON’T JUDGE, you REALLY have no idea why they are homeless where they came from, what actually put them in the position that they now find themselves. You are not perfect, or without mistakes in your life so you have zero room to be judging anybody. Being homeless is not a disease. It is not catchy if you say hello to a homeless person you’re not going to catch it be nice to the next one was person you see because everybody is 2 weeks or 2 paychecks away from being there themselves. Turlock water throw a nickel throw a dollar to the next homeless person you see guarantee they really appreciate it. Don’t give them dirty looks don’t avoid them and act like they’re not there. Unless of course, they’re actually drunk or high and you don’t want to deal with that. I understand that feeling. So my last blog for 2017,  is be kind to the next homeless person you see you have no idea where they’ve been or where they’re going. They’re people too human beings with feelings and needs care and hopes and dreams try to consider all of that when you look at them and think what if that was my family member my mother my sister my Aunt my uncle my nephew my niece my child and treat that person as you would those people. That is what I want for each of us treat each other the way you want to be treated.  Whether,  I’m dirty and Homeless looking or I’m the president of GQ magazine. That is the way that I want to be treated. I’m sure that is the way you want to be treated. So, Happy New Year to everybody stay safe and keep as warm as you possibly can.

I’m thinking about you…

Wednesday December 6, 2017

Depression

 

So I went to the emergency room couple days ago come to find out I have a fractured rib and pneumonia. With all of that I still go out every day to try to make some money to live to eat for the cigarettes that I need, (my last vice) and whatever other necessities come about. People will drive by pretending to look this way that way anyway biting at me pretending to look at their phone pretending to be talking to the person next to them anything they can do to avoid making eye contact with a homeless person because what it’s catchy homelessness might be catchy. It is not catching people.

However, everybody is one paycheck away from being homeless.  People are so  preoccupied with their own lives, or thier phones that they don’t seem to see you and or if they do they look right through you. I am a human being folks a human being I have feelings. I swear I could lay down on the ground and act dead and these people would just drive around me and keep it moving I don’t understand that I could never somebody holding the sign that says homeless and hungry anything helps and just keep on driving by I couldn’t do it even now homeless I don’t just walk on by somebody with a sign like that I give them something

It takes more than that sympathetic smile.

When your drive on by and you see someone holding a sign asking for help, not all of us are addicts. Some of us are really out there just trying to survive.

Yes, there are addicts out there just trying to earn money to buy drugs but you can see the difference between who’s using and who isn’t. When I stand up there and hold that sign I need a piece of my soul there every time I don’t enjoy doing it I just don’t have another choice right now. During the day I send resumes out over and over and over. Four evening Rush Hour I hold a sign that’s how I eat and drink and survive. People that are not homeless just don’t get all the little things that you miss when you’re homeless silly little things mean so much if somebody just stop hand you a dollar a quota even a nickel it means a lot. Especially now at Christmas time the most depressing time of the year for people living on the streets especially. I personally am extremely depressed right now and don’t even care to live anymore but I stay alive and I stay with it for my children they need me otherwise I would have off myself months ago.

I ended up on the streets getting scammed by an old man he took every dime I  had

  • So where do I begin, there are so many obstacles and issues, when your homeless. If you happen to be one of the homeless, you know what I mean. Things people that have a home don’t even consider, or take for granted. Like somewhere to wash your face, hands teeth, etc etc…
  • Socks, toothbrush and toothpaste. A hot shower, some place to lay your head at the end of a long hard day.
  • Should I fall asleep, will I be robbed if I do? Or even worse hurt, raped or assaulted?
  • I am hungry, whee can I get a decent meal? Even can  I afford a morning coffee, and even if I can, where? Things people take for granted, like watching the news, having an address to put on that job application you just filled out.
  • These are just a few things people need to think about, before they yell get a job.